Slater Slayers
Alone in the Dark
Review by Ross Anthony

Hoping to be a sort of hybrid "Matrix" meets "Indiana Jones" meets "Alien," Unfortunately, "Alone in the Dark" is just a bad movie. I've enjoyed some of Christian Slater's work in the past and was up for this film; but no fault of his, this film fails on many levels.

The first forty minutes had this audience of critics laughing. In some cases, deep hardy belly laughs that a comedy might envy. As if fair warning that the film wasn't going to win any Oscars, several paragraphs of expository background information scroll white on a black screen. Those paragraphs are read to us, one by one. Comical.

The film strains in the acting department as well. And the dialogue -- cut and pasted from any other B- action thriller.

But the script, the actual story, * sigh *, what happened here? At least for the first half, something resembling a story line unwinds, but by the halfway mark the film completely drops its bottom. The last half is comprised of thrift shop SWAT guys poking around in the dark shooting endless rounds of ammunition into CGI lizard-like animations the likes of which we've seen many times before. What precious little point the film may have had quickly slips away.

Redeeming qualities? There is a moment there when the lights from the guns flash in the dark, the heavy metal music crunches down and the lizards slither at high speed, it's almost interesting as a senseless music video.


  • Alone in the Dark. Copyright © 2005.
  • Starring Christian Slater, Tara Reid, Stephen Dorff, Will Sanderson, Ed Anders, Robert Bruce.
  • Directed by Uwe Boll.
  • Screenplay by Elan Mastai, Michael Roesch, Peter Scheerer.
  • Produced by Uwe Boll, Shawn Williamson, Wolfgang Herold at Lions Gate Films.

Grade..........................C- (0/4)

Copyright © 1998-2016 Ross Anthony, Author - Speaker - Solo World Circumnavigator In addition to reviewing films and interviewing celebs at HollywoodReportCard.com, traveling the world, composing great music, motivational speaking, Mr. Anthony also runs his own publishing company in the Los Angeles area. While traversing the circumference of the planet writing books and shooting documentaries, Mr. Anthony has taught, presented for, worked &/or played with locals in over 30 countries & 100 cities (Nairobi to Nagasaki). He's bungee-jumped from a bridge near Victoria Falls, wrestled with lions in Zimbabwe, crashed a Vespa off a high mountain road in Taiwan, and ridden a dirt bike across the States (Washington State to Washington DC). To get signed books ("Rodney Appleseed" to "Jinshirou") or schedule Ross to speak check out: www.RossAnthony.com or call 1-800-767-7186. Check out his other sites too: Author*Illustrator*Speaker, Motobookothon 2009, M9, Write Triangle, TwT. Go into the world and inspire the people you meet with your love, kindness, and whatever it is you're really good at. Check out books by Ross Anthony. Rand() functions, Pho chicken soup, rollerblading, and frozen yogurt (w/ blueberries) also rock! (Btw, rand is short for random. It can also stand for "Really Awkward Nutty Dinosaurs" -- which is quite rand, isn't it?) Being alive is the miracle. Special thanks to Ken Kocanda, HAL, Jodie Keszek, Don Haderlein, Mom and Pops, my family, R. Foss, and many others by Ross Anthony. Galati-FE also deserves a shout out. And thanks to all of you for your interest and optimism. Enjoy great films, read stirring novels, grow.

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Last Modified: Saturday, 16-Sep-2006 08:21:13 PDT