Are you charmed by Arnold? (I am) Does a big
Hollywood movie with Arnold sound attractive to you?
If so, then "End of Days" fits that bill. Arnold
straps lots of cool weapons to his prize-winning
body. Arnold takes bullets to the chest, baseball
bats to the skull and an assortment of other would-be
fatal blows. But Arnold seemingly retains his
interminatability (as if it rubbed off from previous
roles under different direction). If that's what you
like -- you'll be happy.
If however, you associate Arnold with smart action
a la "Terminator," "True Lies"
etc. you may react as did a fellow in the men's room
after the show, "Disappointed!" he frowned shaking
his head as he zipped up. Or the snoozing gentleman
in the row behind me ... after the crashing crescendo
of the climax faded, his steadfast snoring could be
heard. Even though I was not as dismayed as these
two, it was obvious that "End of Days" didn't deliver
the powerful immensity we've come to expect from Mr.
Schwarzenegger.
Here's the plot ... The millennium on the verge,
Satan comes back to Earth in the form of a man,
seeking the woman that's been branded to be the
mother of his son (the antichrist we can assume). The
Vatican is well aware of this prophecy and sends an
ugly mob of weapon wielding priests to carve her up.
However, there's a group of "good guy" priests
dabbling in stigmata research and therapy that try to
protect the innocent would-be anti-Madonna from
(ahem) Satan's little sword. Arnold, a down and out
body guard, stumbles into this mess and ultimately
finds himself defending this freaked out girl from
Lucifer himself.
It's a challenge to pretend that it makes sense to
fight the prince of darkness with traditional
Hollywood blow up weaponry. As an arch
enemy/villian/bad guy, this Satan is formidable, but
as the devil? He's rather impotent. Though touched on
(especially in a good scene in Arnold's home),
Satan's powers of manipulation were sorely
underdeveloped. Also lacking consistancy, Satan shows
off the ability to read Arnold's inner most thoughts,
yet he still needs Arnold to voluntarily verbalize
where the girl is hidden. Lastly, the religious
dilemma concerning the murder of an innocent to save
the world could have been realized on the screen with
greater sympathy. Instead, the priests with guns seem
to take to thuggery as if it were second nature.
It's one of those action films where things happen
so that the next visual thing can happen -- not
necessarily because the transgression is logical or
developmental. "End of Days" sports some powerfully
visual special effects, but fails to lure you in
emotionally or even sympathetically. You're just a
watcher. Another viewer quipped, "The film pulls you
through it like a dog on a leash."
But "End of Days" still displays some shining
moments: 1) A scene in which Satan relieves himself
on the sidewalk, then sets his own puddle of urine on
fire. 2) Arnold suspecting his best bud to be the
devil, lets a bullet make the decision. 3) Satan's
first shocking deed as a man. 4) The final appearance
of Satan in his "real" bat-winged form.
It's not strong on substance (though it could have
been), still, I don't think you'll have a bad
time.
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