[Click here for my
interview with Johnny Knoxville]
[Click here for my
"JACKASS 3D" Review]
A preface: It's probably obvious that this is not
your normal movie. The title should alert one to
that. If you want plot, character development, etc.
see "Red
Dragon" or "White Oleander"
(both of which I enjoyed); here you'll only find
character destruction and the kind of plot that
awaits one of Johnny Knoxville's stunts to go fatally
wrong. So if that's what you expect -- reckless
abandon -- the craziest childhood daredevil stunts
bruising the much less rubbery bones of grown ups --
you'll have a great time.
What follows is the list of demented stunts.
Almost all are very funny, some are too gross to
watch, and a small minority are simply uninteresting.
But all are rather brief. There's none of that hokie
game-show artificial build up. Most often, an opening
establishing shot, two seconds for anticipation and
bam some idiot catapults his body into harm's
way.
- Giant shopping cart of idiots coasting across a
bridge through smoke and projectiles trips its
cargo into a fruit stand.
- Johnny rents a car, "We'll take good care of
her." He drives off to "Rentacar Smash Up Derby."
He tows the car back to the rental office and the
clerks ask, "Who's car is this?" Johnny, "This is
your guys' car... I had accident, I hit a dog, when
I drink I just black out... but don't get upset
...it's got a full tank of gas."
- Skateboard down a bowling alley into the
pins.
- Muscle stimulator to parts of the body that
don't even have muscle. Yikes!
- Golf Cart Smash Up Derby through a 1950's
miniature golf course. Look out fiberglass
Santa!
- Party boy dances nearly naked in the streets of
Tokyo.
- Wee Man tries to break brick with his
head.
- Baby gator nibbles on Johnny's nipple.
OHHHHHHH!
- Alligator tight rope. This one is very very
unsettling, hard to watch at first, but then, very
very funny.
- Firecracker wake up. Loud, but not that
funny.
- The cast of idiots wear full body skintight old
people skin and masquerade as insane seniors.
Mildly funny and reprises several times.
- Pooping in the toilet display in a hardware
store.
- Psycho music as a mad hair clipper takes a
patch of hair out of anybody on the set. Reprises
often.
- Mousetrap Romp.
- Bungie Wedgie.
- Beanbag rifle to the belly.
- Ryan Dunn gets beat up by the Double K World
Woman's kick-boxing champion.
- Tropical pole vaulting.
- Partying night pandas.
- Bottle Rocket Roller Skates
- Roller Disco -- in a truck!
- Wasabi snooters -- prepare for graphic
vomiting.
- Springboard into a ceiling fan. Pretty
cool.
- Alligator in the kitchen.
- Paper cuts. This is so gross, I couldn't watch.
In fact, the cameraman vomits.
- Top Extreme athletes don fatty suits and
bike/skateboard the halfpipe. It's actually pretty
cool.
- Butterbean (a huge boxer) beats the crap out of
Johnny in some department store.
- Knight jousting at the local convenient
store.
- Sea cucumber porn.
- Feeding whale sharks out of your underwear.
This sequence hosts some amazing underwater
photography -- albeit sick and twist.
- Shooting firecrackers out of ... err, there's
just no gentlemanly way to say it .. their
butts.
- Yellow Snow Cone. Oh that's just gross!
- Wee Man kicks himself in the head.
- Golf Course Air horn. People in the theater
were laughing so hard, we sounded like a laugh
track.
- Dressed in a mouse costume and razzing a
hissing cougar.
- Burglars drop from the ceiling gag.
- Toy car up your butt x-ray. I just love what
the doctor says, "That's not part of you."
- Johnny catapults into the swamp. The end!
Fortunately, most of the stunts involve idiots
willing to suffer pain at their own doing. On the
very few occasions where they hurt others or even put
others at risk, the film dilutes itself. The only
other fault -- quite a dud of a climax/ending --
though the credit roll spoof-sequel is amusing.
Shot mostly on little digital cams, the imperfect
image fits the imperfect skin and bones of these
crazy maniacs. Often the reactions of the group add
to the hysteria. I laughed a lot. But as the film
warns and so do I, goodness, do not try any of these
stunts on your own.
Creatively crude, head-banging, silly, stupid fun.
The president of MTV Films admits, "I've basically
given money to a bunch of idiots saddled with enough
dimwitted ignorance to try one bad idea after
another, with the sole purpose of making moviegoers
laugh."
[Click here for my
interview with Johnny Knoxville]
[Click here for my
"JACKASS 3D" Review]
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